Stop being used & abused | How to stop people to take ADVANTAGE of you - Personality Development
How to Get People to Stop Using Your Stuff
Do people constantly take and use your things without asking permission? It’s not only annoying, it can be an invasion of privacy. You have every right to deal with a sibling who comes home wearing your brand new shirt, or with a roommate who always helps themselves to something that you paid for. The key is to be reasonable, clear, and honest. If incidents like these get under your skin, there are steps you can take to deal with the problem whether it’s at home, school, or work.
Dealing with the Problem at Home
Confront the person who takes your stuff.Usually, you can talk to a sibling or roommate in a more direct way when someone at school or work. Be polite and speak using nice language, but be assertive. Be reasonable and genuine when you share with them how you feel.
- If someone you live with eats a special snack you bought for yourself, you could smile (not a fake, sarcastic smile!) and say, "You know, I did buy that with my own money, and it’d be better if you could ask next time.”
- You could also try saying something like, “I was saving that popcorn for when I watch a movie tonight, and now there’s none left. Please don’t eat my stuff without asking, and if you do, please replace it.”
- If it’s a cosmetic product, you might say, “Hey, I’m a total germaphobe! I really don’t like sharing beauty products, so I’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t use this.”
- When your sibling or roommate borrows an article of clothing without asking, you could explain to them that it makes you feel like you have no privacy when they go through your drawers or closet. Everyone has a right to their space!
Get a parent or adult involved.You might've already had a conversation with the person taking your stuff, but what if they keep doing it or get mad? You can get an adult to help settle the issue without being a tattle tale, especially when the problem is really hurting your relationship with the other person.
- If your sibling is the one taking your stuff, you can ask a parent to be there when you talk, to make sure no one gets upset and starts fighting.
- If your college roommate is the problem, resident assistants (RA) and/or director (RD) can help you out, especially if your roommate has taken something really valuable. Don't run to your RA or RD over something small, like a candy bar!
Hide your stuff.If you’ve had a conversation with someone but the problem persists, you might have to hide your stuff. For example, if you've told your sister a thousand times that it bothers you when she wears your favorite necklace, don’t leave it on your dresser or out in the open. If you need something sweet after a tough day, but your roommate always robs your stash, hide your candy in a safe place.
- This works best if you’re pretty sure the person won’t go searching through your stuff. You don’t want encourage them to invade your privacy even more!
- Hiding something may be hard if you prefer having easy access to it. This method works best for special items of clothing or jewelry that you only wear every now and then.
Get a lock.Locking things up somewhere is a great alternative to hiding, especially if hiding something will only encourage someone you live with to go through your stuff. Since it's not always the most convenient, it’s best for things like valuable jewelry, special electronics, and other expensive stuff you really don't want others messing with.
- It might get even more annoying to have to unlock a safe or drawer for things you use often. Use your best judgment!
Stopping the Problem at School
Tell a teacher or trusted adult.Sometimes it could start a bigger problem if you just confront someone at school about taking your things without asking. It can be better to avoid an argument by someone older and wiser to get involved. If you have any doubts, it’s okay to go to a teacher or other trusted adult to make sure the problem gets solved fairly and without any fighting.
- If the person is your friend and it’s a little thing, just tell them that it hurts your feelings when they take from you.
- If it's someone you’re not so friendly with, it might be better to have a teacher mediate, or help solve, the problem.
Don’t hang around with people who steal.If someone has a reputation for using other people’s stuff without asking, avoid them! Remember, when someone takes something that doesn’t belong to them without permission, it’s called stealing. If you hang out with someone who steals, you might end up in trouble yourself.
Getting the Point Across at Work
Leave a note.Everyone who brings a lunch to work has had a nibbler break into their goods. Leaving a note can seem futile, but it’s often worth the small effort. What’s more, when you combine it with some strategic friendliness, it can really pay off.
- Clearly mark food items left in a communal fridge or kitchen cupboard. Leave a note asking people to kindly keep from eating your food. Use nice, positive language.
- Every now and then, bring in an item for everyone. Leave it out with a note saying, “This is for the whole team!” When you do clearly mark what’s yours and yours alone, people will remember your generosity and respect your boundaries.
Determine when it’s a big deal.Sometimes people outright steal property willingly and repeatedly, or even take credit for work they didn’t do. Don’t overburden your boss with little things, but if a valuable has been stolen and you have evidence showing who the thief is, you might want to bring it to his or her attention.
- If that happens, or someone takes credit for your work and you feel you need to talk to a supervisor, do your best not to just complain and badmouth.
- Use the opportunity to show how you want to contribute to a safe, cooperative work environment.
QuestionHow can I get my friend to stop sneaking my belongings?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerFirst, talk with your friend about the issue and tell her that she shouldn't sneak into your personal stuff. In the meantime, you probably shouldn't leave this friend alone with your things until you trust her again. If she persists, and you don't feel you can trust her, maybe she's not a good friend to have.Thanks!
QuestionMy mother continues to disrespect me and take my glasses, hide them, and once I ask her about it, I receive an "oh sorry, I don't know where they are." As a child, I apparently have no say over it. Any ideas?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerYour mother is being very immature and should not be acting this way. Glasses are an important need and not something to play around with. Talk about this to your school counselor or any other adult you trust. Be sure to tell your mother how you feel as well.Thanks!
QuestionHow do I get my roommates to stop using my stuff?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerPlace signs on your stuff that say "Hands off! *insert name*'s Stuff!". Or just approach your roommates and politely ask them not to use things that belong to you without asking.Thanks!
QuestionWhat if they get mad?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerDon't worry about it because it's their fault for using your property.Thanks!
QuestionHow can I get my neighbor to stop using my trampoline?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerAsk them to please stop using your trampoline. Offer to sell it to them if they want it, but tell them it's not okay to come onto your property and use your things. Have someone else there to back you up.Thanks!
QuestionHow can I get my sister to stop ruining and stealing my stuff?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIt's unlikely you'll be able to get your sister to stop touching everything, but you could find a good hiding spot for things that are really important to you -- or perhaps ask your parents for a small locker that only you and they have the combination to.Thanks!
QuestionMy roommate and her son always use my Xbox without my permission, even though they have their own. Every time I get home and they're there they always play on it until they go to bed and it's so annoying. What can I do?Community AnswerYou may have to go to the lengths of putting it in your car (if you have one), or, if you still have the box it came in, disguise it as something else and put it in there. If you don't have the box, take a few of the vital cords and/or take the batteries out of your controllers so they can't play.Thanks!
QuestionPeople in my family keep stealing my iPad charger, and when I say no to my dad he says he needs it for his phone and makes me give it to him. He lost all of his chargers too. What can I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerTry speaking up for yourself. Tell them that it is yours and that you should be able to use it whenever possible. If they continue just try talking to someone else about it.Thanks!
QuestionMy siblings won't stop and my mom won't help. What can I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerGet a safe and put your most important belongings inside of it.Thanks!
QuestionI like inviting people to my house, but I hate when they take food out of my cabinets. I have snacks and drinks out for them to eat, what can I do to help prevent this?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerWhen you see them going into your cabinets, you could try interrupting their action and pointing out that you've "already got the snacks on the table/counter/etc." to see if they get the hint. If that doesn't work, you could also try moving anything you don't want them getting into before the event so that there is nothing for them to find. If it still isn't resolved, try talking with them openly, but politely - say that you bought specific snacks for the evening and you'd prefer that they get eaten first. If your guests don't like the menu, say you're open to ideas for next time or consider making the next event a potluck so they can bring their own.Thanks!
- It's not fair to be protective of your stuff while you help yourself to others' things, so don't take other peoples' stuff without asking.
- Always be kind and polite. No matter how angry you are, it is best to remain calm. Being reasonable and positive can get you much farther than throwing a tantrum.
- Don't be selfish, but don’t be a pushover. Walk the fine line between sharing too much and too little. Don’t let a material object ruin a great friendship.
- Don't forget where something is hidden!
- Keep your keys in a safe place. Make a spare and put it in a location you won’t forget.
- Always memorize lock combinations and have them written down somewhere.
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